Stop Hating and Get Your Own
Updated: May 5, 2018
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Jealousy is very dangerous and can find its way into every relationship that you have, whether it’s familial, intimate, or platonic. You can’t become your best self if you are burdened with jealousy and all the abnormalities it breeds.
In my life, I’ve found myself being jealous over things that the people closest to me have. I had to realize if I had what they had it wouldn’t work for me. You will never get exactly what someone else has unless you relive all of their experiences…the good, bad, and ugly. Even when you “get what other people have” it won’t be the same because it will be tailor made to your journey.
I used to be jealous of other women’s confidence and beauty because I didn’t find myself attractive. Growing up we shopped on the clearance rack. All of the girls in middle school that “got the guys” had name brand clothing (non clearance rack clothes) so I began to associate beauty with materialistic things. In doing so, I began to decrease my own value because I didn’t have the means to purchase “my value”. Jealousy sustained an insecurity within me that I didn’t break until sophomore year of college.
When I first got to college I tried to reinvent myself. I befriended some females that had an amazing sense of style. Being a part of this group made me feel like I was being “seen” for the first time, because everyone seemed to gravitate towards them. After spending time with these ladies, I saw that their characters didn’t align with who I wanted to be as a person. We got into an argument and I was exiled from the group. They began to bully me by leaving threatening messages on my dorm door. It’s crazy how the very thing I thought would establish me as an attractive woman made me feel like I was a nerd back in middle school. During that time, I decided to focus on me and what made me great. I got involved on campus and discovered that I had a gifting for leadership. People began to gravitate towards me the more comfortable I became with myself. I was even nominated for homecoming court. I didn’t win, however I unapologetically slayed in my clearance rack gown!
Whether I’m rocking red bottoms or a $5 t-shirt from Target, I am content with myself and the unique value that I can only bring to this world. Now that I have taken the time to grow into my own, I can embrace the beauty of my journey. I can have friends with phenomenal post graduate degrees that I don’t have, and not question my worth. I can go to a wedding and be genuinely happy for the bride and groom instead of fake coughing when they ask “Does anyone know a reason why these two should not be married”. Ladies stop hating and get your own.
You have to be confident in the journey that purpose will lead you on. I have a lot of successful friends, and as soon as I tapped into my purpose I was able to celebrate their accomplishments → genuinely. I can hear how my friend started a successful business and support them in any way possible. I don’t find myself trying to tear them down or telling them that they are doing too much or try to copy their business strategy. When you fully immerse yourself in purpose and trust God’s divine timing on your life, you don’t have the time or energy to be jealous of what other people have. You understand that if you stay focused and diligent, what is meant for you shall come to pass. What God has for you is yours, you just need to keep going!
“You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”